Thursday, July 17, 2014

The day white potatoes made my head explode (or: "Usually I'm nicer than this")

Today, the smart folks over at Whole9 decided to modify the Whole 30 to allow for white potatoes.

Cool. I think that unless you have an issue with nightshades, white potatoes can be a fine thing to eat. They are a real, unprocessed food. You might want to use them to carb-load at night after a late-afternoon lifting session, or, on the other hand, you might want to go light on them in general (just like any starch) if fat loss is your goal.

Whatever. It is all a reasonable choice that you have to work through.

What makes me somewhat loony -- and by "somewhat loony" I mean "positively fucking stabby while yelling, 'What the fuck is wrong with you?'"--  is people's reactions, particularly the ones that go something like: "Oh, thank [Jesus, Allah, Baal, Yahweh, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Other Divine Being], I really wanted to eat potatoes."


If you "really want" to eat something, why don't you eat it? Or else decide that you don't really "want" it because it is going to do something bad to you?

We call that "being an adult about food."

In other words, isn't this whole paleo/primal/Whole30 deal an exercise in figuring out how you really want to eat? And I can definitely tell you that it's specifically not a lesson in being a robot who follows orders. We call that "dieting."

And we hate it.

In all seriousness, why are you treating Dallas and Melissa Hartwig like they are controlling your food intake?

You, motherfucker. You're the one doing that.

So grow up and do it.

(And yes, it's fine to look to them -- because they are good at what they do and know their shit -- for guidance and advice, but stop treating them, or anyone else, like puppeteers controlling what you put in your mouth.)


  1. "it's fine to look to them -- because they are good at what they do and know their shit"

    BULL SHIT - they know NOTHING!!

  2. "If you "really want" to eat something, why don't you eat it?"
    Nowadays, when people "really want" to eat something, it might be because of all the invisible influences of marketing.

    Please watch (if you haven't already seen it), to see what's been going on for the last 90 or so years.

  3. Thank you! I was thinking the same thing! Why is this such a big outrage? If you want potatoes eat the damn potatoes! Sheesh people.

  4. I saw that announcement and I could feel the imaginary weight lifted off so many people's shoulders.. YEAHHHH Whole30 says we can eat it so now we CAN!

    I love potatoes, and happily have been eating them.. and white rice. Shh. Let the paleo gods burn me.

    I get the Whole30 and have done one myself and it was mostly a positive experience other than me learning to hate everyone that didn't eat strict paleo and causing an eating disorder that was never there to begin with. It's a good guide, a nice reset, but dang, is not "healthy" for everyone.