Friday, May 4, 2012

The "Happy Diet".... Whoa.

So I saw a post on Facebook today, detailing a guy's "happy diet." I would never identify him here, but I will repost the contents of the alleged "happy diet," because, as the kids say, "OMFG":

8oz Orange Juice
Special K with skim milk

Morning Snack
8oz V8 juice
100 Calorie Pretzel Pack

Special K Honey Nut Bar
8oz V8

Afternoon Snack
100 Calorie Pretzel Pack
Diet Pepsi

Handful of pistachio nuts
5 Martinis


For the purposes of this discussion, let's ignore that level of boozing. I am not really concerned about that, not because it isn't a problem to drink that much, but whatever, y'know? You all "get" that already, I am sure. In fact, I bet he does too and just chooses to do what he does because it makes him "happy." Cool. I am down with happy.

I will even ignore the hideously processed nature of basically all of it except the pistachios and maybe some of the salad. Again, you get that. I am focused on the word "happy."

The non-booze part of it makes him "happy?" Oh my god.... There would be piles of dead people in my wake all day long from the insulin spikes and crashes. That "diet" is almost nothing but carbs and sugar. There is nothing to fill you up or keep you full. Breakfast is sugar, grains and sugar plus some minuscule amount of protein from the second sugar (skim milk). When he gets hungry, he pours in V8 and pretzels? Quite the filling protein and fat there. Lunch? No better. Afternoon snack... No better plus battery acid (Diet Pepsi). And nuts for dinner. Ok, those *probably* kept him full for longer than anything else, but the booze would have wrecked that. (But again, forget about the booze; I suppose there is arguably some "happiness" in there somewhere). All this is is a ton of carbs and snacks, made up of carbs. Why do you think you need those snacks? This is like a starvation POW diet with martinis.

Dude, I fear for those around you.

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